TV: Tipping Point

(I am having a moment.)

YOU THERE. RIGHT THERE. HOLD YOUR HORSES ONE FREAKING MOMENT. LOOK AT THIS SHIT.

LOOK RIGHT HERE AT THIS SHIT.

THIS:

 

 

This shit right here is the machine on the gameshow "Tipping Point". You get that right, this game show is the ULTIMATE LIFE FORM IN TERMS OF PURE, GRIPPING, WHITE-KNUCKLE, EDGE-OF-YOUR-SEAT ENTERTAINMENT.

 

Why is it? WHY IS THIS SO AWESOME?!

 

 

 

DO YOU RECOGNISE THIS MACHINE!? DO YOU!? DO YOU SEE WHAT THIS SHIT IS?!

 

 

 

 

That's right motherfucker.

 

 

 

THIS. IS. A. FREAKING. COIN. PUSHER.

 

 

 

THAT'S RIGHT.

 

A GAME SHOW BASED ON A COIN PUSHER MACHINE.

 

 

 

 

NOW YOU CAN'T SAY THAT'S NOT JUST FREAKING RADICAL.

 

 

This show has four hopefuls playing the GIANT COIN PUSHER MACHINE for these huge ass metal discs worth £50  (That's about $80 for those across the pond) each. That is literally the entire game. You answer questions and fire these discs all over the shop in an attempt to whore up on as much cash as humanely possible.

 

It's absolutely captivating. You will literally not stop screaming at the screen. You will answer every question. You will be fucking hypnotised by just how AMAZING this machine is, and you will watch Every. Single. Episode.

 

OH MY GOOOOD. FUCKING FALL YOU FUCKING SHITFUCK.

 

 

Don't you even dare call this show cheesy and slow, because this is the future, I swear to you. you will laugh at this show, you will take the piss out of this show, but you will always sit and watch it with rapt attention, and you will always shout at the screen.

 

And then you realise you're watching a show about a penny pusher machine.

 

 

 

 

And then you feel a little sad about yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

And you start to rethink your life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ARGH HOLY SHIT FALL OFF YOU FUCKING SHITFUCKS.



Books: Dark Lord, The Teenage Years

( Unrelatedly, I've noticed an interesting influx of USA readers of my blog. Greetings, strangers! :D )

I actually whacked up a review of this book on Doncaster Book Awards, but I think I should put my general thoughts on this little slice of genius up here, too. Because omalawd. It's hawt as hell. I'll try not to be too repetitive when it comes to showering this thing with praise. BUT HOW DO I DO ANYTHING ELSE?!?! D:

So firstly, I'm gonna congratulate it for being the first book that's had me grinning ear-to-ear throughout the WHOLE. DAMN. THING. I mean heck, it might be because I'm terrifically immature and love this kind of psychotic evil stuff, but how can you not love it? Seriously, if you love video games or evilness, BUY THIS AND READ IT.

OR STEAL IT AND READ IT.

DARK LORDS NEVER PAY FOR STUFF.

IN FACT, WHY NOT KIDNAP THE SHOPKEEPER TOO?!

GO ON.

(Please don't actually steal it or kidnap fellow humans. Though I'm only saying this so you don't go out telling people that I said it's good to do bad things, resulting in a lot of angry dads and shopkeepers coming to beat me up.)

It's a dark lord. That's been.. er.... teenager'd. Now I'll admit, turning into a teenager from general childhood is a bit of a shock, so I can't imagine it happening to someone like a super villain.

That's the basic plot. Dirk Lloyd (apparently all social workers are deaf) wakes up as a teenage boy, and has to adapt to the terrifying concept of human life, whilst also trying to get back home.

I've gotta hand it to him, he does it better than me.

The book's nutty, witty, contains vast amounts of evilness and some really lovable characters. Dirk is the little evil overlord that we all have inside us, and you will always be nodding and agreeing with his confused outlook on our weird-as-hell life.

Stuff in this book, of which there are satisfyingly copious amounts of:

*Evilness

*Laughs

*Flames and burning buildings.

*Evilness

*Crazy Evil Overlord Laughing

*Entertaining overlooks on real life.

*Evilness

*Evilness

*Evilness

*Help, I think I'm broken

*Evilness

*Evilness

*Evilness

*MAKE IT STOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!

Overall. Please read it. Every crazy person should. Just be warned that negative reviews may have you spiralling into the Dungeons Of Neverending Pain and Torture. And I'm not saying that because I'm being held prisoner by the Dark Lord himself. All of my showering praise is genuine. Yep. It's completely genuine. I don't even know where those dungeons might be.

By the way.

Help.

Movies: The Hobbit

After what feels like WAYTOOLONG I finally managed to get out and see The Hobbit with my daddah. I've actually been really laggy with the LOTR fandom: those books just look all big and horrible. XD  Plus I'm useless with names, and the last thing you need to be useless at when reading Lord Of The Rings is remembering people's names.

Well, what can I say about the movie. LORD OF MORDOR, GET OUT THERE AND WATCH IT IF YOU HAVE NOT.

(THOUGH I AM PRETTY SURE THAT IF YOU'VE NOT WATCHED IT BY NOW, YOU PROBABLY AREN'T THAT INTERESTED. IT'S OKAY, BRO.)

But yeah; I went into this movie before I marathon'd the others they'd already made. Wao.

I mean.

Wao.

Waowao.

The whole place starts off by exploding into flames. That's one to get your blood pumping.

Then it's all nice and normal for a bit. Heck, even someone might complain it gets a bit boring, up 'till about the elves, and then SHABOOM MOTHERFUCKER, THE MOUNTAINS HAVE LEGS AND ARE GONNA TEAR EACH OTHERS FACES OFF FOR NO ADEQUATELY EXPLORED REASON.

THOUGHT THAT WAS ALL?

THOUGHT THAT WAS ALL, FAGGOT?!

NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS.

COMING SOON TO A HOBBIT GROUP NEAR YOU: 1000 WAYS TO SLAUGHTER GOBLINS WITH A LADDER. HELL LET'S RIDE THIS LADDER DOWN AN ABYSS TOO.

It's pretty darn intense, and quite frankly no building or natural phenomena will ever suffice any more. Goddamnit Hobbit. XD




Review over. Or was that really an adequate review? Actually it was more of a stupid explosion. Oh well. Whilst being ill I've almost got through the whole book, too... ^^;  It's a real plough, plus the fact there's about 500 pages of additional appendixes in the book with weird stuff like the alphabets and heritage lines of all the hobbits 'n' shizz..

God I LOVE having a nerdy uncle. He gets some sweet stuff. C:

Well, I think this is a nice obsession for me to have; at least it's got a huge fanbase to chat to rather than the weird things I fall in love with which about 7 people are aware of. x3


What the hell am I rambling about now..

Soddit...

Bai.

Ramblings: BLEGHHGHFGH

AAAAAAAHHH VIRUSES SUCKS.

So I have literally been reduced to living off sodding cheese because apparently that's the only thing this virus allows me to accept, I am less active than a sodding sloth, and I apparently am not allowed to sound like anything other than a sodding walrus with sodding tonsilitis.


Sodding.

Aside from the collateral boredom, however, I have managed to use my time to read another 700-odd pages of Lord Of The Rings. There's still about another 6 trillion to go but I'm getting there, I think.

With any luck I'll finish it soon, just so I can say I read it.
Because by lawd I'm scared if I go too long I'll forget what happens and have to go through it again. XD

Gaming: Minecraft does not accept me.

I sometimes feel that games tend to play against me. Particularly things like Chess, where the computer blatantly cheats and whoops my ass every time. I insist.

But recently, it's Minecraft that's started to pick on me too. Sometimes it just refuses to accept my existence. Other times it decides it's good to torture it. And then sometimes you get this:

 

And once is never enough. Nope.

 

 

Albeit I probably deserved that last one.



Ramblings: Listening Exams

I'm procrastinating doing my homework. C:
So let's go wild.

So usually I don't have much problem with doing German exams (except speaking. Eurgh.). But why is it that for every single 'listening' section of the exam (this might apply to Spanish, French, etc exams too) everyone is perfectly happy and legible, EXCEPT FOR ONE.

THERE IS ALWAYS THAT ONE POOR PERSON OR LITTLE GROUP OF PEOPLE WHOSE ACCENT/SPEED/PITCH IS COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE FOR THE HUMAN EARS TO UNDERSTAND. I DOUBT EVEN THE POOR SODS RECOGNISE THEMSELVES LISTENING TO THE PLAYBACK BECAUSE THE EXAM BOARD'S EQUIPMENT IS SO ANCIENT THAT IT GRAINS UP LIKE THEY ARE GETTING A PLAYBACK FROM OUTER SPACE OR MANAGES TO UNLEASH THE PERFECT ECHO SO YOU CAN'T HEAR A WORD THEY ARE SAYING.

I mean, I'm not exactly one to speak the Queen's English myself but oh my god, there's this one poor bloke who's got this very, very slight lisp (I'm talking less than MY lisp) and every time the recording equipment picks up his 's' it amplifies it to hell and beyond.

And let me tell you, in German, there's a LOT of 's' noises. If you don't have an 's', theres a 'ch' and a 'tsch' to get you going, and he also sounds like he's from the parts of Germany where 'z' is pronounced almost like 'tsv'. (Which is kind of primarily ALL OF THEM.)

I mean c'mon exam board, I bet what he's saying would make so much more sense if you just let the guy use something that doesn't make him sound like his current location is The Moon. Spread out for these guys, y'know? They're nattering on about things like Genetically Altered Tomatoes and How Fucking Awesome A Bike Is for you, so I think they deserve a really good mike.
Like, something that the recording artists would use. And they also deserve some kind of unicorn, or free trip to the USA.

Because most of the topics are bollocks.

Gaming: Witch's House

DEAR LORD ALMIGHTY, I SWEAR DOWNRIGHT THAT GAME IS EEEEVIIIL.

I sure as heck deserve some pain and jumpscares for joining with the creepypasta rage of these cute little games that turn out to be fuckscary, but oh lord, playing that with earphones is horrifying.

Not the mention the 'true' ending vaguely rivals Human Centipede in terms of 'ew god no why would you do that' factor. Maybe a little less, but the fact that the game is so adorable rubs it in a little.
So after getting through that, I figured I'd warn everyone against playing it and then put my foot into your butt telling you to give it a go.
It's just.. so... pretty. And yet I'm probably going to have a psychological breakdown about it in the near future.
My brain's a pussy when it comes to not being scared.

But yeah. Scary games. They're pretty sweet out there right now. I'm having a little marathon after I got way too fangirly over Ib too; there's some neat little games out there. And by neat, I mean 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH'.

Well, I'll keep things short and sweet. I'm off to have nightmares about giant crunching teddy bears and girls with no legs.

What.

Cosplay: Attempt 2

So after the disappearance of my Eirin fabric, I've been saving up for more of the crap.

Finally got it today. Might not start it since I'm woozy and pretty much coughing up my own spleen. So here's a little preview of what I'm gonna try and do for those not into Touhou that much:

 

 

Should be alright... It's only the 4th dress I've ever made. e-e  *awkward sigh*

Also, long white wig. That's cool. XD7

 

Farewell fewlz.

Rambles: VOICE WHERE DID YOU GO!?

SO.

This sonofabetchin' weird infection I caught has renderred me unable to talk.

Well, nearly.

I actually can talk. I just sound like a horse-seal hybrid that's dying horribly through strangulation.

(Wow, that makes for some hideous pictures in my head..)

It's somewhat torturous all the same, since I hardly shut up. I guess at the very least I get to be nice and quiet in lessons for a change because nobody know what the hell I'm saying. C:

I'm only writing this blog because I need to get my pent-up-retarded-chatting out somewhere. Apologies, my good sirs and.. er... sir-ettes. I shall depart.
For about an hour.
Then I'll be back.

Rambling about sponges or something.

Cosplay: Tweakin'

Okai, so, descending into mah nerdy madness right away, I just got a fabulous secondhand cosplay outfit from a girl called Hannah. C:

Since the fabric for my Eirin Yagokoro one went missing, sitting and tweaking this one was just what I needed until I can go and grab the fabreekz later. I really need to properly sew something again.. ;w;

It's Sakura from Tsubasa Chronicles, but it's one of the cover arts:

 

 

I've finished off a few tiny things like rescuing a belt hoop and fixing the belt. I should have a proper picture up soon, but I need to sort out dah wig. :U  And probably un-destroy my room so there's space to take a picture.

 

 

 

On another note: I decided to re-read the Tsubasa manga after this. I forgot just how good it is. Also, Fai. xD

 



Oh god, another blog...

Bwahahahahaha.

I have started a blog.

I'm not too sure what I'm starting one for. Because it's either going to be beyond random or it'll die after a small while.

So then my fellow mortals. I shall introduce myself. In the form of a list. Because I really like lists.


*My name's Sarah-Jane. Nicknames include Cabbage, Skittles and Steve The Tree.
*I'm 17 right now, in my last year of senior school, finishing off 6th Form (Yeah, that's in British Speak. OIM A LOIMEY.)
*My hobbies are cosplaying, languages, various forms of music, drawing, photography, and anything else where I can pretend to be creative.
*My languages in order of how well I speak 'em: English (fluent), German (advanced), Japanese (moderate), French, Finnish, Korean (beginner). I love languages. C:
*I am flammable.
*I'm as bent as a roundabout, and have a distinct fondness for rainbows. Even my hair is rainbowy.
*I really, really like battenberg.


That's enough for now because my short attention span makes me incapable of spending more than about 20 minutes on a blog post before it starts trailing off and thinking about unicorns and what I could have for dinner.

..

I could have meatballs.



Yeah.




Meatballs.